Socialization during Depression

Socialization is an important and necessary part of healing from depression. It is a way to remember one's connection with others, and it's an opportunity to distract oneself from feelings of hopelessness and being lonely. Socializing with friends and family reminds someone who is depressed that they are loved and cared for. Social isolation tends to worsen the illness, which deepens the feeling of depression. It causes people with depression to feel more stress and higher anxiety, while socializing counteracts these feelings.

Work and Depression

Employees who are depressed are more likely to become unemployed, especially if they are not supported in their healing efforts. They become unable physically and mentally to do their job. They call in sick, often finding it difficult to even get out of bed. They lack drive and therefore produce lower quality work. Without support, they may be mocked, yelled at, or otherwise judged. Over time, they will either get terminated or quit. Work is a great option to use as a social situation for healing when in a supportive environment. The responsibility of needing to earn money can get them to work even on days they don't want to. It may remind them how talented and special they are. Depressed people often have only negative views of the world. Work friends can bring them up when they are having especially bad days and remind them of what's good. Work also gets the focus off of themselves and onto other people and projects.

Challenges with Socializing in Depression

Socializing may be incredibly difficult for people with depression, especially when paired with social anxiety. For people with social anxiety, the idea of socializing can be unbearable. Social anxiety is when a person has an unreasonable fear of social situations. If a person is already depressed, they typically already feel disconnected from others. Socializing in any form amplifies this feeling. Just the thought of finding themselves in a social situation might be enough for a full blown panic attack. Making attempts at socialization can lead to greater depression. Another reason socializing is difficult for someone who is depressed is their negative view of the world. They anticipate that everyone and everything is against them. For example, if someone laughs at what they say, they might instantly think it was because they said something stupid. If people are staring at them, they might imagine it's because they are ugly. If they get stood up, they might assume it is because they aren't good enough. From this frame of mind, the more they socialize, the more depressed they become.

How to Socialize

While socializing can bring people to a greater state of depression, it's important for them to overcome this fear. If the fear is severe enough, professional help is necessary. For others, it can be helpful to start slow. Making a phone call to a loved one can be a perfect transition. There is no requirement to be seen and no need to even leave the house. Eventually, once they are comfortable with that step, the next step would be to schedule an activity with them. This can be as simple as a walk in a park or a quick cup of coffee at a local shop. From here the list of social interactions can grow at their own pace. This is called 'activity scheduling' and is a common part of cognitive behavioral therapy.

Socialization Activities

Doing fun things counteracts the negative moods associated with depression. Sometimes the thought of doing something fun puts too much pressure on a person though. When trying to lift themselves out of depression, it might be more beneficial if they tried to set small goals. Rather than being focused on doing something fun, they might focus on just doing. Depression magnifies a person's lack of self-worth. Celebrating small accomplishments can go a long way in building it back up again. Some small, significant steps people can make in becoming social again include going to the library. It's a guaranteed quiet space where they may even choose to check out a book on depression and how to heal. Another option is meditation or some other relaxation technique. This is most helpful outdoors and in nature. Preferably this is done with a trusted friend as they work up to greater socialization. The next step might be to attend a class. Again, meditation or yoga make great options. These are safe, supportive environments that create opportunities for connections with others. The next step to socialization is to make even more connections in larger, louder settings. A great place to start is to join a group with similar interests or volunteering. For animal lovers, a pet shelter is a great place to volunteer and meet others. Another great volunteer option is with the children's group at church. Kids and animals are able to lift spirits in a way that adults can't. Once new friends are made, there may even be a level of comfort in joining them outside of the volunteer space.

Tips for Socializing

Keep in mind that this process can't be rushed. There may be moments where it feels like a step backward, but that is likely after many steps forward. A few tips to help those that are healing from depression include practicing self-compassion. A natural reaction for someone with depression is to judge their progress, but this is a defeatist attitude. Practice celebrating the small victories along the way. Be sure to set small, specific goals. Focus on the goals, not on what may or may not happen. When going to a yoga, meditation, or any other class for the first time, pay ahead. This is extra motivation to actually attend so it doesn't end up a waste of money. Imagine how it will feel when the social event is over. Imagine feeling accomplished and free from the fear. The key to socializing when depressed is to keep the moments manageable. It is not a good idea to attempt anything that feels too overwhelming. Step by step, social anxiety can be overcome. With the help of loved ones and professional when necessary, a depressed person can find themselves enjoying parties and making new friends again.